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The Problem is Not the load

“Management. Management. Management.”

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I met a ton of people over the past week who voiced how tired they all were. Tired form school, work, sports and some even said their relationships.

I read on a quote on instagram that made me understand the essence of management and why people who have better management of self go far ahead many others. It said, “Its not the load that breaks you its the way you carry it.” And from this I got to understand why management of self is so important.

“Its not the load that breaks you, its the way you carry it.”

Louis Leo Holtz, Former American Football player

So if the going gets difficult, we cannot complain about the load,because the load is stationary. We on the other hand can grow- in management especially.

Thank you for reading!

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Letters to My Children (ii)

“Don’t dream on debt, dream on what you have invested- in yourself.”- Leonard Lebere

I found growing up funny, as a leader I found myself in many circles where people would always talk about what they plan to achieve in the next however many years. The question I would always ask myself while growing up was, “What habits do I have now, that point to the goal I want to achieve.” In simple terms, what are you doing today to bring your tomorrow closer?

As I write this, I also struggled with aligning my habits with the future I anticipated. To you as my child, I am not going to put any pressure you to have this figured out quickly. The reality is, even if you do not get to share this with me as your father, rest assured that you will be assessed by life itself to determine how genuine you are. This conversation about your goals and dreams might come up when you apply for a job, or apply for a bursary even by the parents of someone you are considering as a life partner. I am glad that I personally answered this question early and I write this to encourage you to answer this question too.

How are you assured that tomorrow will get better? GROWTH is the answer; this is the ultimate assurance that tomorrow can get better. Growing with intention (reading books, attending seminars, planning your life and reflecting) will give me peace as a father knowing that you will be able to conquer challenges you face in the future. Information solves uncertainty.

My concluding point from the title of this letter is: some people have not invested in themselves at all and still have the audacity to tell people that they are going to become big shots in life. This is, “Dreaming on DEBT/credit.” In real life, this would be people who dream solely on what their parents can do for them or after listening to a motivational speaking, thinking that they would change their patterns immediately without any hindrances. They have the dream but they do not have the habits that support the dream. To this day, I am still thankful that your mother was not someone who was dreaming on debt.

Contrary to that, there are people who dream and aim based on how deep they have invested in themselves. This is who I hope you become. These people have consciously taken challenges and tasks that stretched their capacity as individuals and gave them the ability to dream even bigger than what they did before. These are the people who make sure that their habits match what they are dreaming about. This is the guy I strived to be before I met your mother (she was just like me in this regard) and I use this same approach to ensure that I will be a great father.

So try not to be too quick to dream on debt, focus more on investing in yourself. In the long run, you will benefit! Your mother and I believe in you so much, we sometimes sit and spend hours talking about how great your future is going to be.

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We’re all Influencing

“Thoughts on how we’re all leading people whether we like it or not and whether positive or negative.”- Leonard Lebere

Think about this, an average human being in their lifetime influences at least 10 000 people before they die. We are always trying to get people to listen to the music we listen to, read the books we read, watch movies we have watched and even play games we have played. This not be a big deal for you, but it certainly is for many and this is what I wanted to bring to your attention. We’re all influencing.

There is a Chinese Proverb I recently encounter, “To know the road ahead, ask those who are coming back.” The question I am answering is not that of whether we are worthy of being found as people who are influencing but that we are the active influencers where ever we find ourselves geographically.

“To know the road ahead, ask those who are coming back.”

Chinese Proverb

At times we have to break our ignorance through learning and research. As I planned to write this blog I came across information that essentially broke my ignorance. In his book, Kevin Hall freed me from a misconception I had carried for years. In his Book “A Coach by Any Other Name” He wrote:

In other cultures and languages, coaches are known by many different names and titles.

In Japan, a “sensei” is one who has gone farther down the path. In martial arts, it is the designation for master. In Sanskrit, a “guru” is one with great knowledge and wisdom. “Gu” means darkness, and “ru” means light—a guru takes someone from darkness into the light. In Tibet, a “lama” is one with spirituality and authority to teach. In Tibetan Buddhism, the Dalai Lama is the highest-ranking teacher. In Italy, a “maestro” is a master teacher of music. It is short for “maestro de cappella,” meaning master of the chapel. In France, a “tutor” is a private teacher. The term dates to the fourteenth century and refers to one who served as a watchman. In England, a “guide” is one who knows and shows the way. It denotes the ability to see and point out the better course. In Greece, a “mentor” is a wise and trusted advisor. In The Odyssey, Homer’s Mentor was a protective and supportive counselor.

All these words describe the same role: one who goes before and shows the way

Kevein Hall, A Coach by Any Other Name

All Kevin Hall was saying is that people who influence us, are people who simply take us from where we are to where we want to be and the key lesson here is that we all have something to teach. After discovering this, I had to dig deep and discovered that I have a book to write, a podcast to record a keynote to give; not to people who are 100 years older than me, but mostly to those who are yet to walk in the direction I have walked. This has to be some sort of encouragement to someone who has been delaying producing work that we consider as creative. 

My journey of discovery came from my quest in learning about mentorship. I was reading 15 Laws on Invaluable Growth when I discovered what I am sharing now. I was reminded of what I had always known, that the English language is limited in words and therefore limited in expression as a by-product.

“All leaders are influenced by those they admire. Reading about them and studying their traits inevitably allows an inspiring leader to develop his own leadership traits.”

So whether we like it or not, we will all die having had some level of influence and this will all be accelerated by the next industrial revolution and social media. The former New York City Mayor, Rudy Giuliani once said, “All leaders are influenced by those they admire. Reading about them and studying their traits inevitably allows an inspiring leader to develop his own leadership traits.” Eventually we have to realise that we all have something to share and I urge you to learn from my mistake of believing a complete lie.

So I hope you will write that book, start that blog, record the song, call the mentor, write the business plan, start the YouTube channel, record the podcast and essentially just realise that no matter who you are, someone is listening to you!

Thank you for reading, if you liked the blog you can click the star below. Please feel free to share your thoughts. Your voice matter and it matters now more than ever.

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Meet the Need

“The curse of assumptions, the need for meeting demands and the importance of managing expectations.”-Leonard Lebere

Imagine making an entire cup of Chai Latté for a guest visiting you at your home. Trying to be a professional barista and working you hot-beverage-making skills into a cup, only to find out that the person you made the cup for does not drink coffee. This is the curse of assumptionnever meeting a need.

Or imagine being a construction contractor who has to build a mansion for a client and the last meeting you had with your client, you remember them saying that they want the house in this particular way and you agree to it. To your surprise, after spending 10 months building and perfecting, your clients tells you that this is not what they wanted and that they changed their minds while they had time to think about what they want. This is again the curse of assumption- expectations change and they need to be revisited to be managed.

Even, working at a job where you are the most liked, most enthusiastic and bringing in the most amount of energy to the workspace. Then expecting a promotion only to realise that you were not doing what you were hired to do or what was in your job description.  This is the curse of assumption- working does not mean effective.

What about those days where you studied for the test, spent hours and hours reviewing your notes trying to understand the work for that test. When you were asked in class if you understand, you would always respond positively to signal that you were really listening. This is another curse of assumption- covering the scope is not assurance for passing the test.

I am trying to get to a central fact, “Do not assume- ask- so that you can meet a need!”

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Social Media and Killing Millennials

“There is a new kind of healthy, the kind that has to do with our interaction with social media and the use technology”-Leonard Lebere

Social Media and Killing Millennials

“There is a new kind of healthy, the kind that has to do with our interaction with social media and the use technology”-Leonard Lebere

Everything has a good and a bad. There is one area, however, that is often overlooked because it requires deep research to actually understand why this is. Healthy and Unhealthy, this is often where and how many people make decisions about what to consume and what to reject. For some people they will follow the vast majority as if to say, “Let the majority decide what I need as an individual.” Due to all the changes we have experienced in technology over the past 10 years, we need to realise that there is a new kind of healthy- it has to do with social media.

What happened to critical thinking, deep research, delayed gratification and many other psychological booster that actually brought more good than harm to our day and age? It seems like these topics have become novelties, where they are talked about and treated as if they have never existed in our society. From my perspective, social media has pacified (weakened the will of) many people in my generation. This did not happen instantly but gradually.

I talked about Novelties in my previous blog.  

The height of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results. Now due to the changes in technology, we need to have a conversation about our new form of communication. We would be insane to think that we can forever interact with social media in a passive way and this would not affect our health or well-being.

 Boundaries keep us safe and anything that has a popular world view needs boundaries because often the people who create it won’t have a conversation with the public about the bad side. It’s like how restaurants will never stop you from ordering 10 cool drinks with high sugar levels, even if they knew that you had Sugar Diabetes.   

The aim of this blog is not to introduce an entire solution to this problem that we are facing, but instead, to bring about an awareness about how our increased use of social media is doing more harm than good if we interact with it using little to no boundaries.

This thought came to me while I was listening to Cal Newport who can be considered as an expert in millennials and the changes that they face. He is a very successful author, with multiple best sellers but he has no social media account (to think that this is even possible in this social media day and age). You can find him at http://www.calnewport.com 

I was doing my research about a hypothesis and I intentionally pursued listening to a guy like Cal Newport. While he spoke and answered many of the questions I had, I realised that I did not stumble  upon that information but instead I pursued it- then I found  it. The disease of Social Media is that it has become a pure pacifier for people who want to learn a specific niche of work. You do not get to see what you really want to see (unless you search really deep for it), instead you often see what is mostly available and that in itself is a problem because that means that what you see first is dictated by a couple of algorithms derived from your likes and dislikes.

The social media giant, Facebook, is currently undergoing a settlement of Five Billion Dollars ($5Bn) for privacy breaches. I then realised that for any service that we use, regulation is key.

We need to dig into the future of technology and social media to understand where we might need to use boundaries to ensure safe and healthy use of a product or service. We also need this to avoid unnecessary abuse due to unhealthy consumption and use of something many people are not willing to learn about. We need to decide what we want for ourselves or else others will. We cannot afford to put the fate of our lives and health in algorithms and social media platforms, neither can we actually allow them (or it) to determine what we need even though they do not know us.

Increase our awareness about the healthy use of social media so that your choice is decided for by you and not algorithms or someone with a 1 Million followers.

There is a new kind of healthy, this healthy has to do with social media. Are you healthy in this area?

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…failing times?

“We more likely to fail if we treat proven ideas as novelties.”- Leonard Lebere

 We live in a digital time, everything around us is getting: smaller, faster and more expensive. We have access to more information than what we could have ever imagined as a generation. Books, YouTube, Blogs and now Podcasts have all accelerated the pace at which we receive new information. The paradox is that with all this “access” to information, we somehow still seem to fail as a generation.

■ .n novelty (pl. novelties)–  1. the quality of being new and unusual. 2. A new or unfamiliar thing: in 1914 air travel was still a novelty.

Pocket Oxford Dictionary 3rd Edition.

The reality is that if we forever sow the seed of treating information as a novelty then the harvest will more likely be failure because we do not want to convince ourselves that proven ideas can work in today’s day.

People pay $1000s to watch someone tell them the ultimate secret of how they built a successful business or lived a significant life. Then the information received is often known, but many remain shocked thinking that (hard work, focus, discipline, vision) the advice is too simple for them to reach a level of success. Can it really be that easy?

We therefore simply fail because the most proven ideas on life and success get treated as novelties- assessed as foreign information. Instead we should become challenged by what we already know and practice (with great focus) the information that already exists inside our brains where memory is stored.

What can we become if we treated credible information (proven over years by different people) as a call-to-action and not just a novelty?

 I hope this blog will stir a conversation about why we fail and what actions will most likely lead to failure. If we have not read last week’s blog about patience, click here then press the like button below if this blog got you thinking.

Thank you for reading!! Don’t forget to subscribe via email or leave a comment or question.

Leonard Lebere

Winners Win!

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Still Waiting!

“A blog about the true nature of patience.”- Leonard Lebere

There was a time when baking was not done as frequently as today because of the time it took to get all the ingredients ready for the oven. Not only was it the gathering of the ingredients but also the precision required for a successful bake. My generation, the millennial generation, has changed everything into a microwave timeframe. “Instant” quickly turned into one of the best words that describes us as a generation. So this blog, this specific blog, is about the one thing most millennials lack- Patience.

A friend from high school called me earlier in the month of June and he asked if I had any blogs on this topic. At the time I was not sure if I did because I had already written so many blogs over the past year alone, so I committed to at least write a blog about the topic as that lengthy phone call inspired a quest for discovery and got me thinking.

Perspective is everything. Our paradigms run deep through our subconscious. How we view time then, will determine whether or not we become successful. Time can then be considered as a success predictor. The essence of viewing time in a healthy way is perseverance. When listening to anyone who has built something great, one of the most common ideas that come from interviews that investigate their success is how they talk about time as a long term tactic of reaching a goal.

If we had to account for the origin of impatience in our lives, where would the root point to? I find it fundamental to understand the root of a challenge so that if we treat it we know exactly where to direct our energy and also be able to measure the success thereof

Industrial revolutions and the technological age has caused a major shift in culture and communication. Our concept of Google now in the age of microwaves is not the same as the concept of Google back when you had to use an entire oven to bake the perfect cake. In the oven days thorough reading and synaptic analysis provided the generation before us with depth and appreciation of discovery because of the time it took to discover something new.  So technological advancement is one aspect; the other one has to be our interaction with social media. I find it funny that we have been deceived to think that we are consumers of social media when instead we have become the actual products for these platforms and our attention is a commodity- like products on a shelf. Quick Updates and refreshing feeds has –over time- introduced an instantaneous paradigm which ultimately birthed what we now know as impatience.

We can think of impatience is an umbrella that covers a few areas: Relationships, Product Building and Significance.

In relationships both romantic and friendships through the internet and social media, it has become so much easier to desire the final product –which is intimacy– than what it has become being able to persevere with an individual through certainty and uncertainty. We then see patterns where people would rather not confront problems to maintain a relationship because it has the image of ‘the final product’.

Product building has birthed unrealistic time frames for desired profits; people who start anything that aims to add value (be it a business providing a service or launching an actual product) give up within the first 999 days of starting the business or building the product. It takes time to perfect a skill or to establish yourself as an expert in a field but impatience has made a fable out of anything that describes itself as ‘long term’.

Our drive to inspire others even if we may have built anything notable has become one of the biggest illusions we have come up with in terms of having a geographical impact in all spheres of the lives that we live. If we had to think about it, people who get Life Time Awards and are recognized by their countries, are people who once put in the work and were never recognized for more years. So much so that if any millennial had to be put in that time with those long timelines, they would rather give up than be described as patient or persevering.

Sometimes topics can become abstract far beyond the r scope of our understanding. Without point blank examples we can easily forget even the issue we are trying to address and what this issue looks like when we need to put it to practice or test it in real life simulation. This is why I presented the examples above.

What is the solution to all of this millennial chaos?

  1. DEEP THINKING

We need to encourage deep thinking when it comes to topics like these. Taking time to process the already existing information on a topic like this will lead to much more refined answers and aligning deep thoughts that lead to actual learning. So reading this blog is not enough, maybe you might just have to take out a pen, a paper and ask yourself tough questions about areas you might have been impatient about. I would encourage you to read my blog about Reflection if you are uncertain about where to start.

  • 63 DAYS TO BUILD A HABIT.

It takes a minimum of 63 days to form a habit and it takes about 21 days for your brain to rewire and get acquainted with the habit you are trying to build. This is why people can start gym session and quit in 2 weeks often because they have not given their brains the opportunity to get acquainted with their new habit. It takes time to build anything meaningful.

  • THINK DIFFERENTLY ABOUT FAILURE.

With the right perception, failure does nothing more than give us feedback about a risk we are taking that we would not normally take. I wrote a Blog called The Fake Fantasy of Failure highlighting this very idea. View failure as a learning opportunity rather than a defining moment or a road block. The bend at the end of the curve is only fatal when you fail to make the turn.

  • GOAL SETTING & VISION.

When it comes to setting goals and healthy benchmarks for yourself remember that sometimes there is never an unrealistic goal, simply an unrealistic deadline. So… “If things take longer than planned, adjust- do not panic.” Dr Caroline Leaf

Time does not have to control us, we have the power to control time. Nothing worthwhile happens quick or instantaneously. We need to realise that the things that we really want take longer to get and are harder to work for. May you grow in your journey of being patient and may this blog not be a deep excuse for being passive towards our goal.

If you really liked this blog, please click the like button below and help me promote this blog by sharing it with your community on all you social media platforms.

If you have topics you would like to hear about, check out my social media pages: Leonard Lebere everywhere. Or email me: leo.lebrr@gmail.com Subject: The Next Blog Please.

To Moet, thank you for giving me an opportunity to write this for you!

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Dead Millennial Tools

“The digital age has created a passive learning environment.”- Leonard Lebere

Information helps us solve uncertainty. The more we know, the more problems we can solve. But the digital age has pacified most millennials. We have become more talents at gathering information than what we have in using the information we gather. It becomes easier to recognize that we are a generation surrounded by dead tools (useless information). Could this be the next epidemic to our intellectual communities?

When fighting in a war often times the side with the most resources might lose a few battles but they always win the war? The reality is that the side that uses their resources with skill and precision always win. Through this we understand that having information tools is not enough and could not match the aggression of using the tools we are surrounded by.

If this article made you think, please click the like button below and also share it with the people who are like minded.

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Cognitive Cassette Tapes

“Podcasts and what we listen to affect how we think, feel and choose.”- Leonard Lebere

Remember the old cassette tapes. The ones that, at times, had to be manually turned back when the tape reached the end. The cassette player could only playback what was on the tape. Our minds are exactly like this, they only play back what we have been feeding ourselves. This is where this new form of media comes in- Podcasts.

Podcasts differ the same way written blogs differ, the only difference between a Blog and a Podcast is that one is read and the other is listened to. So in simple English we can say that a Podcast is a Blog that is in an Audio form and it can have many variations because it does not have a principled fixed format.

We should care about podcast if we are people who have an end goal of being time conscious and being people who use our time wisely. Traditional Radio is slowly losing its ability to influence our minds with positive news and impactful information that will make us happy when we think about in our quiet times. People who decide to listen to podcasts are people who have decided to take control of what they feed their minds because all that information (the one processed) gets played back like a cassette tape.

People who listen to podcasts are those who have committed to lifelong learn and have established a premise that education outside of the classroom is most meaningful and impactful. People like you and me value depth in subject matter and not just one or two facts, we are after the whole cake with icing and its recipe.

At the end of the day when we look at our lives, we need to realise that our speech and conduct is merely a product of what we have been listening to, the brain in turn, becomes the cassette player playing back everything that we have recorded on our mental tape. Choose wisely- listen to podcasts.

And on that note, that is the announcement I had to make:

I AM STARTING PODCAST.  

I am quite excited about this. It has been a long time coming, but it is finally here now. I won’t stop blogging every week these blogs will be readily available and you can still sign up using your email.

There is a like button below if you really liked this blog and would like to read more blogs like this.

Thank you for reading.

Leonard Lebere

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The Rubix’s Cube of Life

“Algorithms can steer us to a simple life.”- Leonard Lebere

The 3×3 Rubix’s Cube is fairly complicated. When you first hold it, turn it a few times, only to realise that the odds off you finishing it first time are One-Billion to One (fact backed by research). I have had the luxury of solving the cube on many occasions and the key to solving it is, Algorithms- they can equally simplify our lives.

■algorithm /al-guh-ri-th’m/ □n. a process or set of rules used in calculations or other problem-solving operations. –origin Latin algorismus.

Definition

It takes a huge amount of discipline to learn algorithms, as it took time for me to learn algorithms that helped me solve the Rubix’s Cube with ease. At times you would find yourself learning about the history of the algorithms, variations of it or how versions before the current one did not work (or were simply slower). I stumbled upon a quote that put this idea into perspective for me and I hope it will for you.

“When you first start to study a field, it seems like you have to memorize a zillion things. You don’t. What you need is to identify the core principles- generally three to twelve of them- that govern the field. The million things you thought you had to memorize are simply various combinations of the core principles.”

John T. Reed, Author of Succeeding

Algorithms can really simplify our lives, once developed we will master not only certain fields, but our own lives and reach a level we never thought possible- at least I have. The more time we take to develop habits that have a frame work of algorithms, the more potent we will become in living our lives with purpose.

Thank you for reading one again. If you found this blog interesting, there is Like button below, it really motivates me when I see more people responding to the blogs.

ANNOUNCEMENT: It is finally here! The Podcast you have been waiting for. Growth Conversations with me, Leonard Lebere as your host. I am excited about this new project and I can’t wait to share all the details with you. Feel free to subscribe via email and I will keep you updated!

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Good. Bad. Essential

“Establishing a new level of Importance.”- Leonard Lebere

People grow up being taught the difference between good and bad, which we can expect as normal because our paradigms get shaped in this way. The older we get however, this idea has to shift and a new level of importance has to be introduced. This level, is an introduction to a slightly new way of thinking and can be introduced as the, ‘essential level’.

Greg McKeown wrote an interesting book titled, “Essentialism.” And in this book, he introduces the concept of essentialism as a philosophical concept of doing the important thing. The level of importance on certain activities changes as time progresses, the more options we get, the smarter we have to become in how we choose to distribute our time.

The essential level can be seen as Varsity Physics’ z-axis after we get taught about the x and y axis in high school subjects. The rules are bound to be the same, but the approach is expected to be slightly different. As we age, biological limitation will cause us to have a declined energy level and have less energy ever decade. With this in mind, we should desire the essentials aspects of life to be the ideas that carry us to our grand place of departure- where our epitaph will be read- our death bed ultimately.

We not merely called and placed on this earth to run away from the bad and focus mainly on the good. We are called to pursue and act on the essential, for in this very idea is where most of our fulfilment and rewards will lie.

Here is a toast to a different life, a higher call to discipline and an ultimately a fulfilled life! Here is to you the soon to be essentialist.

Thank you once more for reading!!! We have a huge ANNOUNCEMENT next week on a new project we are working. So if you have not subscribed to this bog, please do so. If you enjoyed this blog, there is a like button below. We’ll continue this conversation next week.    

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Missing Mandate

“Having a Mandate brings the focus.”- Leonard Lebere

“How can we better focus?” Even though I am normally asked this question, I have also been asking myself this question. Sometimes our complex nature tends to complicated answers to simple questions. We overlook the simplicity of a response because we conclude that, “It can’t be that easy.” Or “It’s probably because that thought crossed my mind too.”  My question is, “What if it is that easy?”

Let us agree on the definition of Mandate.

Mandate ■n. /man-dayt/ 1. An official order or permission to do something. 2. The authority to carry out a policy as given by voters to someone who wins an election. ■v. give (someone) authority to do something.

Mandate, Definition.

As I have observed my life and the lives of those around me, I realised that irrational behavior was more the by-product of a missing mandate than what it was about focus, we then describe this behavior as lack of focus. We want to take on too much, more than what we can handle because we are missing a mandate (an official order or permission to do something) in our own lives. The idea that having a mandate gives us permission to do something we love and appreciate should prompt us to move in the desired direction.

I find it funny that we sometimes tell people, “Focus!” And while writing this blog, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What are we telling people to focus on exactly” I am of the opinion that if we tell people with no mandate to focus, we are in turn encouraging the misdirected behavior they would have already been dabbing in to.

People with a mandate (that is written down) have a different level of focus and intensity when it comes to everyday life. These kind of people know what to say yes to and when to decline. They operate with great discretion when it comes to how they distribute their time in the week. These people, the ones with this seemingly fallacious utopia, are the kind of people most of us strive to be like- FOCUSED.

I am definitely not a Mr Know-it-all in advising you to do something, but my question to you is this, “Could it be that people or organizations with a clear mandate (written out) have a better sense of focus and cannot easily yield to distractions because of this idea?”  I will let you decide on that one.

Thank you for reading. The podcast is launching soon, we’re in the final phase of recording. Before you go I would like to share my mandate with you.

“I believe in a world where people are well informed, pursuing their purpose and have a healthy understanding of Leadership. I therefore wake up each day to see that dream come to pass.”

Leonard Lebere, My Mandate.

What is your Mandate? Please do share to inspire others.

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Invisible Work

“The work people do not see should count most.”- Leonard Lebere


When you look at a building, how much time have we spent thinking about any particular building we come across?

“When was this building built?”

“Which company built the building?”

“Who is the acclaimed architect that designed the building?”

These are some of the main questions that we would ask ourselves when looking at a stunning piece of architecture. It does not take a lot to agree that if the foundation of any building is not 100% intact then a collapse is inevitable for the building. The laying of the foundation has a lot of unseen work that go deep in the ground and support not only the foundation itself, but the building that will be erected thereafter.

We can parallel the truth in this analogy to our own lives.

The work that is invisible (done in the times when we are not around people) is the work that we should count as important. We should have the courage to keep quiet (on social media and in conversations) and work on work that contributes to our foundation. We can sometimes think that the building has already been built when we share posts on social media or in conversations, but often times there is still more work required. When we visit famous landmarks in the world, we rarely hear about the person that designed the foundation, this person is often not considered as important, but lest we forget- the invisible work has already contributed to the beauty of the building.

So my appeal in this blog has more to do with building our personal foundations where not many people see us. Learning, reflecting, preparing, studying, recording and doing the work that many count as useless; that often becomes the most important part of our lives. May we be the generation that does not rush to seen and noticed? May we rather be patient and hard working in the very aspects of life that matter to us most!

If we looked at your life, what work would you consider as invisible work and contributing to your foundation in life?

Thank you for reading and I can’t wait to hear your comments.

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Be Fully For It

“A case for why we all need an absolute bias for what we believe.”~ Leonard Lebere

“I like A because I hate C.”

“I go to D because E does not suite my style.”

“I will vote for X because Y and Z are not fully transparent with their finances.”

We all hear this quite often when we talk to people about what they seem to believe. In most of my informal argument, I have always played the game of being a skeptic when I hear that someone if ‘for’ something simply because they are ‘against’ something else. It is like listening to child who tells you that they like the colour RED because of all the problems associated with BLUE. We can stretch it a bit further to a WIFE who loves her HUSBAND because of how all the other men on planet earth are unfaithful or are not loyal.

These words sound good?

It sounds good?

Does it?

Are we missing something?

Maybe I am just fabricating a problem that does not exist?

Is there even a thing like that? Where people love one thing because of their hate/dislike for another?

As a: Jesus loving, Truth seeking and Bible defending (who comes from a hardcore Science background and being a student of Mathematics) born again Christian, I have now been on a journey of testing what we consider ‘truth’. I started asking questions about everything I know, everything I have been taught and everything I am yet to learn. In my quest of doing research (which is what I do almost everyday) I stumbled upon a video, that referenced a book. I got the book and this book led me to an interesting chapter titled, The Anatomy of Faith and the Quest of Reason.” I started reading this chapter paying a lot of attention because I concluded that it was fully in line with my journey of ‘testing truth.’ It got interesting real quick.

While reading, I stumbled upon a paragraph that explained a concept I was convicted by- of course with way better Oxford English. This chapter was a grand mixture of: Theology, Philosophy & Science. I finally got to understand why we fully need to be for something and why we need to be able to defend it without thinking about the opposite side. More like the technical reply speech given as a persuasion for winning a debate.

“Common sense dictates that in asserting a conviction of belief, we do more than offer a heart’s desire or present some isolated strands of the claimant’s credentials with which to leap to grandiose conclusions. A true defense of any claim must also deal with the evidences that challenge or contradict it. In other words, truth is not only a matter of offense, in that it makes certain assertions. It is also a matter of defense, in that it must be able to make a cogent and sensible response to the counterpoints that are raised.”

Jesus Among Other Gods- Chapter 3– The Anatomy of Faith and Quest of Reason.

We should probably read this statement as a disclaimer for every argument that we have, a feeling is not enough to support a logical argument. This text addresses our nature of being bias and models a path for us to test a level of truth when we have conversations with people. We should have the transitioning courage to talk deeply about issues we are convicted by, in my case, it is Jesus & Christianity.

We need to come to terms with the reality that its not enough to believe in anything simply because we ‘feel’ like it is the right thing to do. In the words of a smart Jewish Intellect, “Facts don’t care about feelings.” Said Ben Shapiro. Anecdotal (based on personal experience) evidence will not be sufficient if we try to present our cases beyond our circle of five friends, we will eventually need the empirical evidence to present a statement that carries that weight associated with our very conviction to it. 

This is not a blog to try and give a Jesus case, this is a blog that has an end goal of making sure that we are people who become not only deep in our speaking and thinking, but also critical in the depth which we argue from.

I open the invitation for comments and questions that would make this blog even more interesting. Please feel free to share the link with your valued community.

Yours Truly

Leonard Lebere

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Research Your Re-search

“Valuable information is harder to discover.”~ Leonard Lebere

“Yes, because I googled it and that’s what Google said.” How many times have you heard this line? Maybe, like me, you might have been guilty of saying a statement like that a few times. Motive? We want to seem credible and have authority when we share our comments in conversations and what better way to do it than to mention the magic word, “Google.”

The next question we need to ask ourselves is this, is Google a credible source of information? And if the first 5 results of the search give Wikipedia links, then is the researched information still of value?

Can we all agree, Google is a search engine that then serves as a directory for our required searches. We endorse shallowness when we allow those who mention the magic word to not be questioned about the credibility of their supposed source.

So we might have to read the book, listen to the long podcast or even watch that lengthy video.

So to really find what we are looking for, the deep and valuable information, we have to dig a bit deeper.

Thank you for reading and I hope you find this worth sharing.

Leonard Lebere

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Fake Fantasy of Failure

“Determining whether failure is real or simply a made up fantasy.”~ Leonard Lebere

Have you ever thought about the nature of failure? When do we fail? How do we fail? Why can we fail? All these questions are relevant when you have experienced some form of failure or loss. The one question I recently became obsessed with is, “What is failure?”

There is room for arguments from both the pessimist and the optimist, but for the nature of this specific blog, I will share my thoughts to the optimist who sees the glass half full.

I recently got lost on my way somewhere, I missed a turn and before I knew it I was on my way to Neverland. I took time to stop and I stepped outside to collect all the data (buildings, street names, business times etc) I could from my surroundings. So I took a different route to my destination and suddenly I asked myself that question, “What is failure? Have I failed in my attempt to reach my destination the traditional way? Is there a way failure can benefit us in any way?

I discovered that failure tends to give us feedback. Failure delivers information to us and how we use that information determines if we are being optimistic or pessimistic about failing. The pessimist would be negative about failure and they would want to give up after failing. The optimist, looks at failure as feedback and uses the information received from it as a tool of advancement and not as a stumbling block.

I wrote about High Standards, ‘Making room for disappointments’, thinking about how the same idea applies to failure. People get categorized as failures because they did not meet a set standard. People who do not meet the standard should rather be seen as ‘people who did not meet the standard in that niche’, rather than total failures.

My generation is cut-throat about almost everything they value and not many people are willing to lower standards (which is a good thing). The one question I have is this, “Would we be better off as a generation if we saw failure as: feedback and gained information?” I leave that answer to the question in your hand.

Thank you for reading, please do share this blog with people who are like you and you know they would enjoy blogs like this. Please do not forget to subscribe via email and leave your comments or questions in the comment session below.

Inspired by Geraldine- You’re amazing!

Leonard Lebere
The Risk Taker   

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Harder to Turn

“Big ideas are not only harder to steer but they are also harder to turn.” ~Leonard Lebere

I recently had to watch a 12 Meter bus try to turn 180° from the direction it was going. As a learning driver, I thought about how easy that would have been if I was in a car. Turning a car (because of its size) does not need much skill. Turning a 12 Meter truck however, needs something different.

Now try to think of the car as a small idea and the 12 Meter Truck as a big idea.

In every city I have been to, it does not take long for me to spot more than five garages that have at least one mechanic who can fix cars. Cars are relatively cheaper. There are many Television Shows that tend to highlight cars. Small Idea? Easier to steer?

Trucks on the other hand need a different skill set. The license to drive a truck is a more advanced one. There are not many truck repair garages around many cities city. Not to mention that not every truck can turn 180° from the direction it came from.

For some reason I am convinced that a truck driver would find it much easier to drive a car with the experience gained from being in a truck.

We need to think about the discipline required to take on big ideas. The reality is this, the money we make can easily be considered as a reflection of the problems that we are solving. What ideas are harder to steer for you?

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High Standards

“Why we need to make room for disappointment.”~ Leonard Lebere

Standards are quite exciting. Many of us have standards because we want to define what we want and also give an accurate reflection of who we are as individuals. What about disappointments?

In our walk, the result is quite simple.

“Disappointments is the price we pay for having standards.”

Jordan Peterson, Clinical Psychologist.

 Our fear of disappointing people should not stop us from setting standards that are important to us, even if it results in letting people down because they had a different expectation from us. If standards did not exist, then we would not need to consider the idea of disappointing people.

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An Open Bedroom Door

“A thought on Social Media and Transparency.”~ Leonard Lebere

Social media has changed much of our behaviour in the present times. I wrote this article to point out some of those behavioural changes. Facebook’s data scandal made many people question their need for social media. It is a good tool, arguably though, we also need to have a huge conversation about how much we can actually share on social media; not only that but what is the level of fairness in what we expect those we follow to share too?

When I made time to think about this, the analogy that came to mind was: an open bedroom door.

We have all seen an open bedroom door. When you are visiting someone and you suddenly need the bathroom. On your way to the bathroom- there it is right in front of you- an open bedroom door. Sometimes because the door was open, you can come back and share how you love the duvet on the bed or how the painting on the wall reminds you of your mother’s room.

What we should avoid asking though, is why they opted for a navy duvet if a pure white one was going to work better. Not even why they a French painter if they could have gone for locals. That is our nature as millennials, suggestive without opinion.

An open door also does not mean that you can simply walk in the room to see what is behind the door or even count how many pairs of shoes there are in the walk in closet. And if the door is closed, you also can’t open it.

We need to have the courage to see social media in that way, an open door that uses permission as wedge to determine how wide the door stays open and if the door should stay open at all.

When we talk about transparency, we need to give those we follow permission to show us what we will see if we were just walking to the bathroom.

Because the reality of an open bedroom door is this, if it is messy or we do not want too many people asking us questions about the room’s decoration: Then we can simply close the door.

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The Best Investment?

“We have a high ROI, surely we must be the best investment ever.”- Leonard Lebere

The first thing we ask ourselves when we invest is, “Is it safe?” or “How quickly will I make a profit?” These are the questions we ask the people who deal with our finances. We then distribute our time and treasure according to the best investment on paper, even though at times, we speculate when we investment.

The answer is, humans!

We are it!

We are the best investment!

We have a high Return on Investment (ROI). We get education- we give a solution. We get a book to read- we give a review. We get money to spend- we study markets and then multiply the money. We get a platform- we impact people. We learn a language- we write blogs.

Like any investment, the future can rarely be predicted. There is no finite outcome to most investments people make; that’s why many work with speculations. Would it be safe to at least speculate that if we invest more in ourselves we could certainly add value to society?

I guess we should not overlook ourselves as investments, we definitely need more time and money distributed to us as human beings, because over the years we have indeed proven that we have the best ROI.  

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Arbitrary Arguments.

“Recognizing the arguments we can save our energy on.”- Leonard Lebere

Arguments are fun, with them you have the opportunity to be right and prove your argument (not yourself). Discussion are equally as fun because you gain insight, especially if you are the independent one, the one who is listening.

With arguments however, you get those that are personal. The kind that make it very difficult to even ask questions because it feels like you are assassinating someone’s character. That’s how personal it can get. I find funny that we even get to that point and still need to be critical in our thinking.

There are arguments we can afford not to indulge in. When you work hard to recognize them you can predict them because they have a similar outcome. These are the arbitrary arguments: Soccer, Basketball, Gaming, Relationships and Convictions. Arbitrary arguments are in the category of personal. In these areas, we should prefer a discussion rather than an arbitrary argument.

The better we recognize the type the easier it becomes to deal with them, not that avoidance is a solution, but the latter idea of saving energy is better for some.   

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Time Management? But…

“Debunking socially endorsed excuses regarding time management.” Leonard Lebere

“Time management does not give me freedom.”

“I am not those kind of people.”

“I prefer a free flow in my day.”

“I have done well without a schedule.”

“Diaries are too expensive.”

The ‘buts’ of Time Management.

These are some of the most common excuses I have heard when I either tell people about the benefits of time management or when I ask people why they do not use a schedule to sort out their busy lives. The thing that bothers me most about these excuses is that they are socially endorsed with a low level of research and conviction from the people affirming those with these excuses.

I could write a full manifesto to explain why time management is beneficial, but I want to present one idea to you that will help you think about time management. “So what do you do when your week does not go according to your plan?” As I was asked in an interview last week. My response highlighted my biggest conviction about time management, “My schedule is mostly there for Direction.”

 So I am saying to you too that, time management can be there to give direction. “If you aim at nothing you will hit something.” This is my conviction when I go into a day, week or month with no direction (of a schedule) of how I plan to distribute my time to reach my goals. You do not need to be, “Those kind or people.” to have a bit of direction in your day or week.

Sometimes we just need to get beyond our last excuse for us to reach our full potential. Can we be people that manage their time and give our lives a necessary direction?

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The Conundrum of Arriving Early.

“How did we end up ranking appointments we agree to?”- Leonard Lebere

Here, I present to you a thought on time and arriving early. An email I received a day after I was interviewed:

“That meeting on your calendar, the one scheduled for tomorrow. What if it were the final interview for a job you care about?

Would you show up on time? Where would you sit? What sort of questions would you ask? What would you wear? Would you reschedule it at the last minute?

Why is it okay to act less professionally than that for a meeting with a co-worker, a salesperson or an entrepreneur looking for funding?

It’s entirely possible that we can honor a reflexive property. When we are contributing we can show up with the same enthusiasm we use when we’re asking for something.” Seth’s Blogs


The Job Interview Approach- Seth Godin

I was recently interviewed by a company in my city. I was on the receiving end of this interview, more like if I do well, there would be benefits associated with that and if I do not meet their expected standards then they will consider someone else.

I find it strange and selfish that we are more likely to arrive early when we are on the receiving end of an appointment than when we are the ones who are giving out. May we be a generation that honours all appointments by just arriving as early as we would if we have a job interview!

Thank you for reading. Please do share it with people who would enjoying reading something like this. If you have not subscribed using your email, you can still do so. Let us make this a Great Year.

Leonard Lebere

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Refine What You Know.

An Argument for why we always need to refine what we know- Leonard Lebere

Think about the death of an Egyptian Queen 200 years ago. In nations like that, when someone with an important profile died, their bodies got wrapped in: the best silk and linen cloths, they used the finest fragrances and oil to smear the body and the body always got the finest tomb in the nation. The idea was that it would a bit longer for the body to decay hence it got preserved with a complex.

If we put this train of thought in parallel to our brain, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just learn something and then bullet-proof our brain from forgetting anything new that we learn? Old age, lack of exercise, new information and other natural causes of memory-loss and mental decay have put us in a position where we constantly have to refine what we know.

The idea is, if there are no mental reinforcements in place then forgetting a piece of information becomes inevitable. We are not superhuman and unfortunately our brains are not bionic either. We fool no one but ourselves if we think that we will never forget something that we have learned for the first time. This is why we as students, we go over study material over and over till we have a sense of understanding. It is our responsibility to refine what we know.

We can easily equate ‘refining what we know’ to a computer software that needs its software updated over a certain period of time. As a youth leader and someone who has been active in youth mentorship, I am always confronted with the need of refining what I know about leadership and Human Dynamics. So what I did over the festive season was, I went through my notes on certain topics including leadership, then went to my YoutTube history and watched videos I watched a while ago. When all of this was done, I then started to research new information pertaining to my areas/topics of interest. The main goal or objective was just to stay relevant. I never want to sound like an outdated software.

We can easily see this with Sports Professionals who repeatedly practice (over and over) what they have known for years. I find it funny that we down play the logic of ‘repeat’ when it comes to our brain and learning new information. Sometimes we just need to take time to refine our strengths, we can take a course, watch a video, listen to a podcast, etc. The more information we have the greater the degree of uncertainty we can solve.

We all have the capacity to forget, like a computer, we can also become outdated and useless. It then becomes our responsibility to refine what we know.

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to ask questions or share your thoughts on this topic.

To the email subscribers who have been receiving their emails late, I apologize as there has been a server problem.

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Tour Guide. Travel Agent.

The Advice Paradox- Leonard Lebere

In my recent blog The Walking Notebook, I spoke about the idea of taking notes on almost everything. Evernote has become my version of a walking notebook, because outside of my normal notebook I use it for most of my miscellaneous notes and questions. I recently started asking my friends the question, “Who is credible to give advice?” And after a couple of weeks, I have a breakthrough to my question. To explain my discovery, I am going to use a Travel Agent and a Tour Guide as examples.

A travel agent’s role is mainly to book your flights, accommodation and tours for where you are going. Travel agents normally sort out the admin and paper work of your travel. At times travel agents have never been to where you want to go, but they are responsible for selling the holiday package you desire. On the other hand, a tour guide is there to be with you when exploring a new city/town. Tour Guides remember landmarks and understand the history of destinations; they can even answer whatever question you might while on tour with them. The reality is that you are less likely to get lost when you are with a tour guide than when you are with a travel agent. You get the idea?

Let us take it further into our age of technology and information overload, how do we decide on whose advice to take when there is so much content being released on the internet? Our first reference can be asking ourselves, “Is this person a tour guide or a travel agent in this topic? I wanted to share a few points from a Leadership DVD that I have been watching, these points highlight the reasons why followers listen to leaders. I took it a bit further and started using it as a metric for deciding whether or not I am going to watch a video on YouTube or listen to that podcast, I even look for these pointers when I buy a book.

The reason why Followers listen to Leaders:

*Sacrifice- People listen because of what you have suffered.

*Insight- People listen because of what you know.

*Experience- People listen because of what you have achieved

*Character- People listen because of your integrity.

*Relevance- People listen because you identify with their needs.

John C Maxwell, Becoming a Person of Influence.

These points are not complex and we can think about them when we are searching for people to give us advice. “What has the person suffered? What does this person know? What has this person achieved? Does this person have integrity? Does this person meet my needs?” This is what I think about when I am looking for answers or advice.

I have been working hard at trying to develop a style of writing more like that of a tour guide. I would honestly be the worst person to ask about how to fly a plane or how make a million, because those are areas I have no experience in at all. You can certainly ask me about Leadership, Self-Development, Intellectualism and Self-Management to name a few. These are the few topics I have had first-hand experience over the years.

I wrote this blog so that we do not become shallow people that just take advice from every moving lip or readable text. My desire is that people would have the power to decide whether or not they want a Tour Guide or a Travel Agent. This is the paradox of advice and deciding where to take it from.

Thank you once again for reading. If you would like to share any comment please feel free to do so below. Don’t forget to like this post and share it with a few people.

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The Walking Notebook

Why a short pencil is better than a long memory- Leonard Lebere

Wouldn’t life be much easier if we all had notebooks that could walk, they would follow us everywhere and they would even take notes of almost everything we deem as important? How would our lives and conversations look like if when we meet, we all pull out notebooks and discuss points made from: conversations, ideas, lectures and all reminders? Have you ever wondered why you actually take notes in a class or why we tend to write down that which is important? The reality is that a short pencil is better than a long memory.


I have a genuine passion for learning. I enjoy learning from different mediums: YouTube Videos, Podcasts, Books, Online Lectures, Sermons. The biggest challenge was always being able to remember the information. What would happen is that I would listen or watch the content then I forget to take notes or I am just tired at that point and a few weeks later I would get excited trying to remember the information to tell a group of friends, but then I would have very little to remember because I had not taken any notes at the time. The most disappointing time was when I had coffee with an affluent leader who helped a company generate Millions in turnover; he agreed to give me 2 hours of his time and in this 2 hours I would ask him as many questions possible. He shared real Leadership essentials on how he really made it and my mistake again at the time was that I did not bring a notebook with me. I still regret not bringing a notebook because I still can’t remember a lot of what he told me. This was the meeting that really birthed my desire to have a ‘Walking Notebook’.


“You have to make your own condensed notes. You learn from making them. A lot of thinking goes into deciding what to include and exclude.”

Peter Rodgers, Author of Straight A at Stanford and On to Harvard.


I have really fallen in love with stationary and notebooks. I never leave the house without my notebook and pen because I told myself that I do not want to miss the opportunity of noting something important down. I write down ideas that I would like to take on, I write important points from conversations I have with people and I even go to the extent of writing down points of discussion to have with my leaders and friends for when I meet them. I use my notebooks to write titles of blogs, I have over 3 months of blog titles ready in one of my many notebooks. The biggest upside of note taking has been being able to remember lesson I learned from different mediums, the joy of just turning a few pages and having access to the lesson/lecture all over again is just amazing.


This specific blog is less about having a Walking Notebook but more about taking notes of almost everything we deem as important. We should be a peculiar people who take notes whenever we can and where ever we can. I challenge you to invest in a Notebook for this year, then take notes consistently and create a note-taking system for yourself. Remember that, “A short pencil is better than a long memory.”

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The Professional Promise

The Real Key to thriving in the Upcoming year- Leonard Lebere

“It will cost you $5000 to fix that, but I do not feel like fixing it today!” How would you react if this was a mechanic speaking to you about your broken car? It would not make sense right, I mean he is a mechanic and it would be expected of him to deliver on what he does. Going into this New Year, what are some of the promises that you have made, maybe not in your professional capacity but promises that you made to yourself personally?

The idea of a professional promise is that sometimes we might not feel like doing something, but because we are professionals, we commit to doing it either way. I have a friend who is a Medicine student and I would not want to imagine the day I visit her practice one day and she tells me that she is not interested in finding out what is wrong with me. The reality is that we should allow our promise to supersede our feelings and if we do not, we will instead be working backwards and failing to make an impact.

John Maxwell said that, “People who take risks and stretch themselves have a greater shot at significance than those who do not.” I have succeeded in my Professional promise of posting a New Blog every Monday, I have done this for the past 13 weeks and I am excited about writing 52 Blogs next year. Many people have asked me if I do not run of ideas, the truth I that sometimes I do, but the because of the professional promise, I choose to take time and find something to write about even if I do not feel like writing that week. I am learning more about writing as I write each blog and I cannot help but point out that I am striving to get better with each blog. People can associate your reputation with the professional promise that you make. I learned this the hard way when I committed half-heartedly to a project that firstly had a lot of finances involved and secondly really needed me to keep my professional promise or I would cost the whole team. And indeed I did cost the whole team that is why I am writing this blog, to prevent others from making a promise they cannot keep.

A New Year, comes with a fresh wind and desires. At the dawn of a New Year, we remind ourselves about the Goals that we have set for the year to come. We can consider these Goals as, “Promises made to ourselves.” Not everyone will have the full desire to see through their professional promise through, this is why we finish a specific year ahead or behind of others. The difference is simply in the people who kept their professional promise.

I really want us to thrive in this New Year and I am convinced that we can do that with ease if we commit to keeping our professional promises. We will easily stand out and be recommended for our skills. Not just that but being able to take our goals seriously, I hope this gives you a new way at looking at your New Year!!

Thank you for Reading, may you have an amazing New Year.

Leonard Lebere

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Sinking Relations- Leonard Lebere

Understanding how the Sunk-Cost Fallacy made it difficult for us to end relationships- Leonard Lebere

Think about this for a moment. Imagine a guy preparing five hours for a picnic this afternoon. The excitement grows greater and greater as the time for the picnic comes and after a long time of preparation, this guy eventually makes it to the picnic spot. Ready for the picnic only to his surprise the weather starts changing and out of nowhere it starts raining. Thinking about all the time he spent preparing for the picnic this guy decides to have picnic under the rain because he cannot get over how many hours he prepared for this picnic. If you are asking yourself, “Who would commit to having picnic in the rain?” I have an even better question for you, “Who would choose to invest in relationships that are dying or have a low return on investment?” This concept is the classic Sunk-Cost Fallacy.

Just to expand on this, here is a foundational explanation:

“A logical fallacy is an error in reasoning that makes an argument invalid. The conclusion drawn the does not follow that preceded it.”

Samuel Rochenhizer, A conscious Rethink.

“A sunk- cost fallacy occurs when people irrationally continue an activity that no longer meets the original expectation. People then get trapped because they convince themselves that it will get better.”

According to Cristopher Olivda who is known for his work in psychology, Sunk Cost Fallacy is defined as, “Pursuing an inferior alternative merely beaus we have previously invested significant, but non-recoverable, resources in it.” A further elaboration from Cristopher goes on to say,

“The Sunk Cost effect is the general tendency for people to continue an endeavour, or continue consuming or pursuing an option, if they have invested time money or some resource to it. The effect becomes a fallacy if it is pushing you to do things that are making you unhappy or leaving you worse off.”

Cristopher Olivda, Psychologist

“The longer you have been together the harder it is to breakup” is a good example of the sunk cost fallacy, besides the Picnic Conundrum presented in the previous paragraph.

I got to all this research because I am fully convinced that I need to take stock of the relationships that I have formed over the years. Besides my love for research and passion for philosophy, I had great intentions when I read all the information. Reflection (thinking and writing down my thoughts and observations) which is a tool I use to maintain a good level of mental health, made me realise that there are some relationships that I am still committed to only because of the  time invested in those relationships. I was obviously not satisfied with that point of reflection, it is the same as committing to having picnic under the rain because of the time spent to prepare for it. 

I realised a few things from the research I did. Firstly, many people (myself included) need to rethink their definition of friends. My other realisation was that Social Media has watered down our level of authenticity, not only with the people we are connected to, but to ourselves too. The sad part is this, when reality hits and push comes to shove (a relationship becomes toxic or is at a point of no growth), we will need nothing but bravery to be able to end the relationship.

“We tend to commit to friendships because we convince ourselves that we have invested too much. The reality is that sometimes we need to realise that the friendship has outlived its purpose.”

In my time of reflection, I came to a personal conclusion that the conversations that got us to where we are in most of our relationships are not going to be able to carry us into the next season of the relationship- unless both parties acknowledge the need for growth and change. We cannot run friendships like gamblers, always thinking that it is going to get better.

“If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”


Will Rogers, American Humourist.

Here is a concluding extract from an article I read,

“Sometimes the best move you can make is quit. Get over the stigma associated with quitting, Quitting is a sensible response when the goal will no longer deliver what it once promised.”


Samuel Rochenhizer, A conscious Rethink.

I am not a relationship-guru, but I found this information critical in helping decide which direction I intend to take in my relationships. I hope it helps you too. Please do not have picnic under the rain. How many of your own relationships are Sinking Relations?  

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/Big Mo

The New Year’s Power of finishing strong.


Momentum is the word we speak about when we look at the form of a sports team. We deduce that if the team has maybe won 10 games in a row;they are bound to win the 11th game. Can we conclude the same when it comes to the months on the calendar?

I find it quite surprising that we have a full year filled with dashes and periods dedicated to rest, yet when the month of December comes, we want the full out rest as if we have not had time to rest throughout the year. I have nothing against people use December to fully rest, I think that my only contention comes with dismissing that we have had many days to rest and did not use them wisely. I know of people who still push to rest in times when they should be working; I am of the opinion that in the end people produce mediocre work because of how they manage the free time and work time.Though this is just my opinion, the bigger question is what is the role of momentum going into a new year?

A common misconception that New Year’s resolution has presented is that when a New Year comes, you become a new person and are bound to reach your goals just because you set them. The problem with this way of thinking is that because of our goals we start off the year with a bit of direction then in the 3rd quarter of the year, we convince ourselves that we can slow down because next year presents us with this “grand restart.”We do not even have to go through the Neuroscience to realise that it is a mediocre expectation to do the same thing and expect a different result, not just that but it is difficult to imagine how our brains will suddenly build new habits and neural pathways if it takes about 63 days to build a habit. A strong finish can lead to a strong start. This does not mean that we do not rest, but it certainly does point out to the fact that we at least have to have an aim to finish strong with a win.

There are so many ways to imagine yourself finishing strong.In accordance to my last blog about what do you want to be remembered for, you can treat the New Year as a human asking you, “What do you want me to remember you for when December comes next year?” Beginning with the end in mind is a way for you to stay focused and motivated to finish strong. As much as when the plans we establish might not come to pass, the least we can do is have a desire to finish strong going into a New Year. How you finish is more important than how you start, this will give you the right momentum going into the New Year.

Thank you for reading, if you found this blog interesting please do share it with people you know will enjoy such and feel free to subscribe via email.You can like our Facebook Page: @TheCommonLine100 and our Instagram Page: @the.common.line.There is a new Blog every Monday. Thank you once more.

Leonard Lebere- Winners Win!

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Tombstone Writings.

What do you want to be remembered for?
Leonard Lebere

If you have ever attended a funeral of any sort, you will have an understanding that death has a special way of reminding us that we are mortal beings. The fact the when our existence vanishes from the face of the earth, there will be someone who will give account on how they saw us live our lives. The question is, “What will people be saying in our absence?”

Let me get a little personal. I am not a fan of funerals, a mournful environment has often been really hard for me to handle. I think the biggest wake up call was when my father passed away and I had to attend the funeral. I realised that I was one day going to die (not in a negative or voodoo weird way) and upon my passing, someone will tell people about my life. A rush of emotions came to me when I realised the importance of making the most of our time on earth.

I asked myself the question, “Why is realising that I am one day going to die, so important?” After many days of thinking, I realised that when we start thinking about our Tombstone Writings, we live life more intentionally and with a great sense of motivation. Myles Munroe said that the richest place on the face of the Earth is the grave yard. That dying with ‘potential’ would be like dying with the music inside of you. James Allen put it this way, “People are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

There are many aspects to think about when it comes to Tombstone Writings.It might be a bit complicated and misdirected when we have to think about our whole lives. A more simplified approach would be to think about ‘what we want to be remembered for’ in different areas of our lives: School, Work,Relationships, Volunteering. We then have that opportunity to live more intentionally and with a little more motivation. Joseph Addison said,

“When I look upon the tombs of the great, every emotion of envy dies in me; when I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow: when I see kings lying by those who deposed them, I consider rival wits placed side by side, or the holy men that divided the world with their contests and disputes,I reflect with sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, factions, and debates of mankind. When I read the several dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some six hundred years ago, I consider that great Day when we shall all of us be Contemporaries, and make our appearance together.”

Jospeh Addison

Now the questions becomes, what will your obituary or Tombstone writings say about you? What will they say at work, what will your family say,what will your friends say? I dare you to write your desired Tombstone Writings. The earlier we ask ourselves these questions, the more intentional we will live our lives. We are mortal beings and for us, death is inevitable, the question is, “What do YOU want to be remembered for?”

Thank you for reading, if you found this blog interesting please do share it with people you know will enjoy such and feel free to subscribe via email.You can like our Facebook Page: @TheCommonLine100 and our Instagram Page: @the.common.line.There is a new Blog every Monday. Thank you once more.

Leonard Lebere- Winners Win!

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Benchmark Success- Leonard Lebere

The metrics of determining whether you had a good year or not.

Definitions are important because they bring a foundation to important conversations. When definitions are not agreed upon, there remains room for many disagreements. For the purpose of this blog I wanted to define the word ‘benchmark’. Benchmark, “A standard or a point of reference.” As simple as it is, I will simply be referring back to this definition. A New Year is upon us and we are a month away from an annual restart. The question is, “How do we know if we have had a great year?”

This time last year during an end-season evaluation and investigation, I was talking to a leader of mine and he happened to ask me, “What is the one goal or achievement that would have made this year great for you?” I did not understand the question and did not even know what to say. He went on to explain that sometimes we can have so many desires for a year, but there is always that one thing that brings the most fulfillment and for him at the time, he had just finished his last semester in Business School. How would you respond to that question if someone had to ask you the same question this year?

 There are benchmarks (standards and points of reference) everywhere around us. In school there is an established benchmark (standard) that determines whether you progress to the next grade or not. In University there is also a benchmark that determines if you get to write your exams or not. When we think about Health there are many benchmarks (points of references) that distinguish between a health person and an unhealthy person. Different people and situations have different benchmarks, because benchmarks are designed to be unique to wherever they are required.

 As people, we have no right to be disappointed about the year we had if we had no standard or aim. Benchmarks need to stay intrinsic. The amazing thing is that even if you did not set out benchmarks for this year,you still have time now to establish them before the New Year starts. It would be a personal atrocity for you to float (have no goals or desires) into this next year. Acknowledge that there is hope for this New Year.

The idea of having a benchmark is a good way to establish whether or not this has been a good year. Taking time to set out a goal -knowing that there will be a ton of fulfillment that comes out of achieving that goal-is worth it. The benchmark you set has to be personal, because there is no benefit in embodying another person’s desires if your backgrounds are not ‘fully’ the same. Your benchmark might be to: lose 10kg, run a marathon, save 30% of your income, start a business, travel overseas, get x amount of distinctions, payoff your student loan, express your gratitude to your parents, write a book,etc. It can be anything that will bring you fulfillment within a year.

Benchmarks (standards or points of references) can be good foundations for our overall success. We should not be the people that overlook the importance of having personal benchmarks. This can become our system of determining whether we had a good year or not.

Thank you for reading, if you found this blog interesting please do share it with people you know and feel free to subscribe via email.You can like our Facebook Page: @TheCommonLine100 and our Instagram Page: @the.coommon.line.There is a new Blog every Monday. Thank you once more.

Leonard Lebere- Winners Win!

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Build the Garage Before the Car comes- Leonard Lebere

A reason to increase our capacity before the growth manifests.

Goal Setting has become a very interesting concept for my  generation. It has given us new possibilities to achieve and we have become more laser-focused in what we want. Teams and organisations have found greater  purposes and drive because of the reality of goal setting. The real question is how far do we actually go when we set our goals?

Think about your favourite car and lets say that you have just won your favourite car through a competition you entered months ago. And the only condition for you receiving the car and taking it home, is you need a garage. This would be a crazy requirement, thinking that when you entered the competition you did not expect to win- hence you saw no need to build the garage. Now you have won the car, but cannot take it home, what now?

The reality is that many people set out goals with that attitude of convincing themselves that they might not hit the mark with the goal and they see no need to change or adjust their lives for what they set out to achieve. For where we are as a generation, the possibilities of winning in life have increased and now there is more than one way to: make money, set up a meeting and get an education. The question is simply this, “Are you well-position for what you are expecting of yourself?”

I told myself that once I am married, I will build a nursery room way before the baby comes. For the days where I will be older and I see that the house might not be big enough for all the children I might have, then I will simply build a bigger house ‘in advance’, because I do not want to get caught off-guard with the increase that I am anticipating.

Myles Munroe had an interesting perspective on seasonschanging:


 “The average person does not respond to change- many react to it. Merely reacting to change essentially gives change an advantage over you, rendering you victim to your circumstance.”

Myles Munroe- Keys to Change


 “Change is always the introduction of the future to the present. Change is tomorrow taking over today, and the denial of change is a decision to live in yesterday. Eventually, to deny change is to become irrelevant.”

 In the case of this specific blog, the change would be the growth that you would be expecting.

If you enter a car competition, build the garage. If you are expecting a professional promotion, then read books about the position you wish to occupy. If you are convinced that you will be making Millions of money in the next few years, then I also see no reason why you should start equipping yourself about investing like a Millionaire. The idea is more about increasing your capacity to show that you are expecting a change from the goal that you have set out to achieve.

Be smart and anticipate the growth before it comes. Increase your capacity as a sign of your expectation for the growth.

Thank you for reading, if you found this blog interesting please do share it with people you know and feel free to subscribe via email. You can like our Facebook Page: TheCommonLine100 and our Instagram Page: the.coommon.line. There is a new Blog every Monday. Thank you once more.

Leonard Lebere- Winners Win!

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Before Social Media Made it Abnormal

Pointing out the ostracizing nature of Social Media- Leonard Lebere

We have all been swallowed by this idea of trends on Social Media, so much so that our own ‘Normal’ has shifted off axis and been redefined. We no longer have the courage to enjoy what we used to enjoy because Social Media has ostracized many of our likes. In this day and age we even struggle to embrace our cultural differences because they do not fit with the norms of Social Media. What has social media really done to my generation?

“Akimbo”, it means a bend in the river (something different if we remove the figure of speech). The question I asked myself when I decided to limit my time on social media was, “Does the online world permit an Akimbo (a bend)? Does it do well with something that is different and not popular?” It does not take a genius to realise that we are more connected now because of the advancement of technology, however, it does take a long reflection to realise that there are some norms this technology age has made abnormal.

My original title for this blog was ‘Give birth at 54’. Think about it for a moment, how normal would it be –medically- for someone to have the physical strength to actually give birth at age 54. This is the abnormal that I am talking about; the online world has redefined many peoples’ ‘normal’. Our main concern has evolved to become more about getting the next like or the next social media account verification that we shift from the timeline which we originally wanted to archive a significant goal.

Its like Social Media has written an entirely new Constitution of “Normal and Abnormal.” The new Normal (created by trends) receives the most likes and attention. The new normal has become more about what you ‘have’ than who you are. So it becomes ‘normal’ if you have the worst attitude and drive the latest G-Class or if you are a misogynist who has no regard for women but have the latest Balenciaga Shoe, under the new constitution of Social Media- this has become normal. The reality is that this social media constitution will spit you out if you do not fit to its norm. You get side-lined if you took 7 Years for your 3 Year Degree, you get disregarded if your girlfriend does not gym or have 100 000 followers on Instagram, if you fail in business and decide to post a picture saying that you are going to bounce back from your failure- these ideas are considered not normal or popular with the majority.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that being an online influencer is a problem, the problem is that there are many norms social media has made boring. My generation has so much pressure to achieve that I have seen a few people fail and were more concerned about the fact that would not be able to post that picture or share the success of that story because it would mean a lot to them if people saw their new benchmark. For social media (in this day and age), failure and delayed achievement is now abnormal- it is simply not celebrated. Take time and look at who gets the most likes and follows on your social media, its rarely that guy who has a passion for children or that lady who has been feeding the poor for six years…

I presented the problem because I simply wanted to bring my reflections into the light, I might have be a bit acute with some of my observations and I am willing to be corrected. Now with all that in mind, what is the solution to this snowballing challenge of normal and abnormal?

The main thing that we have to do is: Decide What is Normal. When we do not decide what is normal for ourselves, we uniquely give social platforms an opportunity to send us these subliminal messages that end up deciding what is normal to us. We also need the courage to: Follow What We Really Like, this gives you a unique opportunity to see posts that resonate with your interest. The last solution to this norm issue is to: Post What You Really Like. There are no real rules that dictate what you can and cannot post on YOUR own social media accounts. If you do not want it to be there permanently, then you can use your stories or something temporary, but just make sure that you post what you really like.

The serious conclusion I have to make is that we are all on different journeys, our use of social media is different and we cannot have an expectation that we will universally reach our destinies at the same time. Before social media makes it abnormal, get your own normal in order.  So be patient if it takes a little longer, though it might be abnormal to others; let it remain normal (totally in sync with your personal timeline) with you.

As I celebrate my 21st Birthday today, the best gift to me is having you read this blog. Thank you once more for reading, remember that there is a blog every MONDAY. I can finally announce that The Common-Line Podcast will be launching soon, stay tuned to iTunes (for IOS users) and Google Podcast (for Android users). Please do leave your comments or questions, I would love to engage with you!

Leonnard Lebere

 

 

 

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The paradox of (choosing your sister’s boyfriend) choice.

Understanding how choices make us and why we should not try to make them on behalf of others.

Choices are powerful. We are confronted with the reality of choices everyday. Every morning. We need to choose whether we will wake up or press the snooze button for the seventh time. The choices that we make can make us or break us, the certainty of choices is that they separate us. With all this truth, we need to acknowledge that this paradox will eventually confront those who are prepared and those who are not prepared.

I have spent some time thinking about how my life will look like once I am a Father. How teeth-gnashing is the idea of your daughter walking up to you one day and introducing a boyfriend? Or to the other extreme where you have to walk your daughter down the isle to an idiot (the husband to be) you have known for over a few years. I thought to myself that life would be great if every Father could choose a suitable spouse for the children. This would take away the worry of having to investigate who your son had to pick up for coffee or what the note says in the flowers in your daughter’s room. The reality is that choosing husbands and wives for children is nothing more than a desire, they need to make the choice not us.

My little sister is amazing, I love her to bits, the only thing that is catching up with me is how comfortable am I with the fact that she is approaching a time in her life where she might have to choose a suitable counterpart as a Boyfriend. There are two options to this. I can just choose which guy she should date (someone I know and trust) and eliminate the need of her getting heart broken or I can take the unpopular approach and teach her how to choose someone.

Anxiety has overtaken many people I know, some even to the point where they will decide that their life decisions should be taken by someone else. This approach makes it easier to blame someone in cases of failure or under-performance. Any brother would choose the option of choosing a boyfriend for the sister, but this eliminates the opportunity to learn. Then what is the solution if we cannot make choices on behalf of others?

We need to teach people how to think and make them understand the cost of certain decisions. We can do this by intentionally asking questions that promote critical thinking, this would include having the difficult and uncomfortable talks. As a leader, I remind always try to remind myself that, “I am not leading people into dependency, I am leading people into independence.” So even in my little sister’s case, I am not there to be insecure about her future boyfriend, but instead I am there to make sure that everything I impart in her, gives me the confidence to stay peaceful knowing that she chose what was best for her,

The thoughts to gather from this blog are: We can be objective when we talk to people but even in our quest of being objective, our preferences still exist. Though we might not be aware our preferences, we express without even thinking (in what we read, watch, listen to, talk about and follow on social media). So rather than making choices for other people, let us rather equip people with the right thinking tools so that they can make better choices.

Thank you once more for reading, please do subscribe. There will be a new Blog EVERY MONDAY. Feel free to leave your comments or questions below.

Leonard Lebere

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The Paralysis of Fear

In my honest quest to start this blog, I was overtaken by a paralysis that has overtaken many people in my generation. That paralysis is the Paralysis of Fear. Starting The Common Line was quite a hurdle. I had intended to do this while I was back in high school, but it only happened years later when I was done with school.

The Common Line as a blog was actually established 6 months before the first blog was posted. June of 2016 I created the domain though WordPress and in my mind I was ready to write. Honestly, I was not really ready until the January of 2017 and if like me you are asking yourself what took me so long, I will try and put it in in simple words. Over the course of 6 months I was overtaken by fear and not just any kind of fear, ‘The Fear of Feedback’ to be specific. I had come to a point in my life where I was not prepared to deal with the honesty of people, I could not imagine listening to someone tell me about how good/bad my first blog was or someone questioning why I am even writing blogs that are totally unrelated to my field of study. This is what caused me to delay the opportunity to share my imperfect blogs with people.

“Why don’t we act on the ideas that we have?” I had this question for months, my answer came months later after writing a few blogs and I was listening to Brendon Buchard who is a High Performance Expert. When asked why people do not attempt anything new he said, “Watching Netflix is very easy, you can watch one episode after another. If you have enough time, you can even finish an entire season in a day. Why? Because there is no feedback to it, it is passive. When you think about starting a business or acting on an idea you realise that it might be a unique opportunity for someone to critique your precious idea. In the end people fail to act because of their fear of feedback.” Even though I might have paraphrased a lot, I think the point is clear and the last sentence speaks for itself.

In this technology driven age, we can agree that the root of our perfectionism as millennials stems from our very fear of receiving feedback. Could it just be that the cure to perfectionism can start with giving ourselves the most extreme feedback first? This question anyone can answer.

The important take from this blog is that it is not easy starting, neither is it better waiting for ‘Perfect’. People will always talk and you cannot control what they say, but you can control how you react. In the end, I guess from here going forward we will all need the courage to Nike  all our ideas,

“JUST DO IT.”

Leoanrd Lebere

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The Mid-Year Report

Our need for Reflection and why it can help us make this year better.

Leonard Lebere

One way we can manage ourselves better is by looking at how we have been using our time and resources over the past 6 months; if you haven’t realised it, this year is already at its 7th month! If there is something personal management has taught me it would have to be that, “When we grow in management we grow in the actual growth.” What I mean by this is that when you become a better manager of yourself, you can easily save more money when you budget, save more time when you schedule and probably manage your weight better when you watch what you eat. I wanted to write this specific blog to put weight on our need to reflect and how this can help us make sure that the rest of this year is still great.

A few weeks ago, I sat in a friend’s office when she had to submit her mid-year report for the work that she has been doing. While I was sitting there watching her, I couldn’t help but think that every company that employs people has an expectation that the people employed at that specific place should account not only for how they use their time but why they should still be in that company. Think about it for a moment, if you work for a company that keeps you accountable you are bound to give it your best knowing that at the end of a specific period you would have to account for your presence in that company.

The funny thing is that as people, we get so busy that we even forget to look into our own lives and take stock of what we have been doing all along. Ironically many of us still have the audacity to expect a better version of ourselves, but once again we don’t treat ourselves like a company that wants to improve. And maybe it might be the first time you read my blogs and you are wondering, “Why is he making such a big deal out of this ‘review and reflect’ issue.” My dear friend, if you are that curious, just know that it really is that serious. Conscientiousness is one of the top 5 predictors of success, there is so much research that supports this idea as a fair predictor. Reviewing and reflection can easily fall part of being conscientious. By this I am not saying that you should change who you are to fit what I am describing in this blog, but I am also not saying that your way of doing life should remain fixed; just know that you can use your mind to change your brain and I will try and write about neuroplasticity in the near future.

I genuinely enjoy reflecting and reviewing my life over shorter periods of time, in this case it would simply be a period of about 6 months. I can honestly say that this is something I have been doing for most of my life, from high school right into university. The unfortunate thing though is that I could never point out what I was doing, my desire was just to realise where I messed up and make sure that I really improve. It wasn’t until I read John Maxwell’s 15 Laws of Invaluable Growth when I came across one of the chapters that dug deep into this concept of ‘Reflection’. In the book he mentions that,

“What we reflect upon changes into insight.”

And this insight is simply a better understanding of events that have happened to us or outcomes for our actions. Personally, my need and consistency in reflection stems from my desire to be self-aware and having my life be a lesson/testimony to as many people as possible. I once read a very intellectually demanding book titled How to Read a Book and one of the quotes I still think about when I reflect is,

“When we read more facts we increase our information, when we read more insights we increase our understanding.”

The gap between knowledge and wisdom can be made smaller when a better sense of understanding. We can grow from reading our own insights captured in reflection, this is important if you really want to be a better individual.

I think if you are reading a blog like this you are someone who also has desires going into a new year. Let me tell you the truth, I set goals for this year of 2018 and even though I set all my goals, from reflecting on the past 6 months I realised that I am not even half way with achieving most of my goals. The challenging thing about goals is that they are like a leaking bottle, the less you look at them and work towards them, the less you become conscious of your need to accomplish those goals. This is one of the reason why I plan have my goals not only in my room, but in many places where I can still be reminded of what I actually want to achieve. If you are like me and you know that you are still far from achieving all the goals that you set for yourself take comfort in this,

“There is never an unrealistic goal, there is only an unrealistic deadline.”

So instead of scratching out the goal, rather just bump the deadline to a later stage. These are some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned about goal setting over the past 8 years.

This blog was to just help you prepare for the rest of the year by making you realise that what you have been doing over the past few months is really critical to how you will finish the rest of this year. I wrote a comprehensive blog about Reflection last year, if you would like to expand from this blog you can read on reflection by clicking here.

Once again thank you for reading The Common Line, even though we have our differences, we should acknowledge that there are some habits that can help most of us. If you have not liked our page on Facebook, you can still do that here. If you would like to follow me on Instagram my handle is @leonard.lebere_. Stay tuned as we will be launching “The Common Line Podcast”, where we will be tackling self-development and productivity. Details will follow. Thank you once more for reading, you are such a WINNER, because WINNERS WIN! WINNERS READ BLOGS.

Leonard Lebere

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The Best Teacher

Pain and Challenges teach the most valuable lessons from the most unexpected events.

The best Teacher- Leonard Lebere

There is a great reality to pain. The funny thing about it is that when you are experiencing it, it sometimes feels like the end of the world, but when we look back we say, “It was not that bad.” By writing this blog I wanted to share about how pain is not the worst thing that can happen to us. The only question is, like athletes, how do we turn pain into gain?

A month ago my dad passed away and it was the bitterest feeling in this universe, words can’t explain how that experience affected me over the past few weeks. When I heard the news over the phone,  reality pulled a slow motion stunt on me: I couldn’t think clearly, pay attention long or even do things I would consider routine like time management, running or even reading. As painful as that experience was, even from the support I got from friends and family, I couldn’t help but realise that good management of a bad experience leads to growth! This is one of the things I have always told myself in tough times,

“Only a good management of a bad experience leads to growth.”

This blog is not limited to my dad’s passing but I have had some great achievements and diamond-deep failures over the past few years. I can’t help but think of John McDonnell who said,

“Every problem introduces a person to himself.”

In 2016 while doing my first year as a first generation university student, a lot did not go my way and it was difficult navigating through all those challenges with the great need of focusing on my academics. I did a lot to avoid the reality I was faced with, from over-committing to student associations to starting a lot of projects I would not have the desire to finish off. Pascal, Pensées observed,

“I have often said that the sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room… What people want is not the easy peaceful life that allows us to think about hour unhappy condition, nor the dangers of war, nor the burdens of the office, but the agitation that takes our mind off it and diverts us. That is why we prefer the hunt to the capture. That is why men are so fond of hustle and bustle; that is why prison is such a fearful punishment; that is why the pleasures of solitude are incomprehensible.”

If you don’t understand what that means, I challenge you to read it again and again. The reality of it is that as human beings we will do anything that takes our eyes off the reality before us. It’s not that we don’t care, we just don’t enjoy thinking about it.

The real differences between people who thrive and people who survive is in how they deal with their problems and challenges. By writing this blog, I’m definitely not trying be insensitive to pain many have felt; we always have to find something positive in the tragedy that we face. Cheryl McGuinnes, who lost her husband in the 9/11 attacks that struck America, wrote a book a few years later reflecting on how that event impacted her entire life. She wrote,

“As unfair, unreasonable, and impossible as it seems, we still have work to do after a tragedy occurs. We still have roles to fill. We still have responsibilities to family and others. The stuff of life may pause for a while, but it doesn’t stop. Fair or not, that is reality.”

What I like about Cheryl is that she allowed her loss to become the gain of others, it was a bold step to write the book Beyond the Ashes reflecting on that experience. As people we don’t love problems and challenges, but at times our greatest gains can come from our pain.

The thing about pain is that everyone experiences it.

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly just because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to charge you because you are vegetarian.”

Dennis Wholey. We don’t  really like painful experiences and few people make bad experiences positive lessons. A bad experience will either make us better or bitter.

While reading the 15 Laws of Invaluable Growth, I came across a common misconceptions among us as millennials. Frank Hughes said,

“Experience isn’t really the best teacher but it sure does serve as the best excuse for not trying to do the same silly thing again.”

Experience can only be the best teacher when take time to reflect on it and allow those lessons to turn into insights. I guess sometimes we just need to allow our discomfort to be a catalyst for growth.

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is the difference.” Virginia Satir.

What I really wanted to point out in this blog is that facing difficulties is inevitable, learning from them is optional. Personal development requires a bias towards action. A bend at the end of the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn. My desire is that this blog will help you understand that sometimes pain is not the worst thing that can ever happen to us, pain can be the reason we make eminent changes that will bring a great deal of success in our lives.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article, there are links below for other blogs that I have written and if you would like to receive these blogs via email, please leave your email [here] and I’ll be sure to notify you when a new article is up.

Leonard Lebere